Shit Gets Real - How to Deal with Rejection

So this post is a real life post where I’m going to blog about shit that went down. But instead of letting this post descend into a rant, or “pity-party”, I’d like to be positive and share what I learned. Hopefully, this post will help someone out, but if not, then hopefully I can make someone’s day a little brighter....cause that’s what A Ruckus Walk is all about – spreading smiles and partying like a unicorn!

Like a lot of people these days, I have been looking for permanent employment for the better part of a year.  I’ll make this brief - a little over a year ago I was laid off from a well paying job and since then have either been unemployed but working the job search grind, or taking on random contract jobs. If you’ve been, or are on the job hunt, I’m sure you can relate to how shitty the job market is – it is pretty bleak out there.  Everyday I’m hustlin’ – is an understatement, AND an awesome Rick Ross lyric I’ve learned to live by.

Anyway, earlier this week I had a promising follow up interview which I left feeling confident that a job offer would soon be extended. Yesterday, I got an email thanking me for my interest in the role, but that unfortunately, I would not be moving forward. My preparation and research for the interview, my hard earned knowledge, skills, and work experience just did not make the cut. Obviously, I was shocked, upset, PISSED, a white hot fury built up inside me which I then forced down into a little dense ball of sadness, skipped out on my cardio, swore/fantasized/plotted revenge (in the form of medical grade laxative laced Edible Arrangements), pussy’d out/rationalized not carrying out revenge, pouted about at home, got a little bit hungry and decided sushi and ice cream were in order - really just went through the motions that accompany rejection. At least I hope these are relatively normal motions for rejection, I could very well be mentally unstable and not know – fun times for you the reader!

Seriously though, as hurtful as rejection can be to the ego, and as tempting as it is to fall into the anger or self-pity trap, there are better ways to deal with rejection. I’m no expert by any means, but below are some ways I’ve learned to get over rejection after the anger and self-pity subside:

1)      On to the Next One – Focus on the Long Run

Why did Jay Z switch from gold to platinum Rolex’s? Progression, that’s why. And just like Jay Z’s stylistic endeavours, I need to be progressive and think about getting on that next shit instead of letting the bitterness of rejection consume me.  Focusing on the long run helps put the rejection in perspective. Even though my efforts didn’t result in the outcome I wanted, at least I can walk away better prepared for the next interview. Thinking about the long run also helped me frame what I consider success to look like. Success is liking what you do. The job I interviewed for and thought I wanted, was a pay cut and required 60 hour work weeks. I don’t want to sound like an entitled millennial who shies away from hard work, but I definitely think that if a company expects you to put in the hours of a manager, than you should be compensated as such. So good luck to those fucks finding someone with my calibre and honest gumption to do their donkey work!

2)      You Can Do IT –  Adjust Your Expectations:

You only really lose by rejection if you can’t learn anything from it. And because “Life ain’t a track meet (no) it’s a marathon” in order to continue growing, I need to learn from my mistakes, and that starts by admitting that maybe I could have done a better interview. Maybe I’m not as much of a hot shot as I like to think I am. Maybe I need to look back and really critique myself. And maybe, if I do learn from my mistakes, I can get to where I want to be. like to think that there is beauty in struggle, it builds character, it makes you stronger and wiser. And if I let my pride cloud my judgment, then I won’t be able to ascend to that higher state of being. If rejection can lead to that higher state, so be it.

3)      Brush Yourself Off and Try Again –  Be Proactive:

Don’t just wish for something, set goals and work for it. I think I reached a turning point yesterday. I’m done with feeling lost; I need to get back to being master and commander of my life. If I really think of myself as being so smart and creative than why not challenge myself and brainstorm other ways to make money? So here’s what I came up with:

-          Open up Jay’s Chicken and Waffle House. In this article, Mark Cuban outlines his rules for startups, the first being that you should only start a business if it’s an obsession and something you love. I can assure you that my love for fried chicken and waffles is very real and intense. I am a chicken and waffle connoisseur. Anyway, I got so into this idea of opening my own chicken and waffle house that I actually put together a menu, figured out how and where I would source labour and supplies, and started calculating my margins and customer acquisition.

-          Open a recreational facility where people could come in and pay to destroy stuff.  Sounds cray cray, but stay with me here. In my vision people would come in and throw plates at a sheet of steel from a safe distance away. I would charge customers per stack of plates. I would sell off the shards to recycling plants as another revenue model.  Ideally, I would partner with a local art school to provide me the plates in bulk at a discount as well as cheap labour in the form of student volunteers.

-          Lastly, and more realistically, I thought of becoming a consultant helping companies identify process improvements and designing financial models. This is something I’m actually good at, have experience at, but most importantly, I like this kind of work.  

4)      G.R.I.N.D – Get Ready It’s a New Day:

Don’t let the fuckery of one douchebag affect how you treat the next person. Don’t let the bitterness of rejection prevent you from tasting glory.